Though my mental illness is more likened to a big, nasty green monster than something heart-wrenchingly beautiful, I think I have learned many wonderful lessons from my many afflictions.

Jacquelyn Nicole Davis
Though my mental illness is more likened to a big,...
Though my mental illness is more likened to a big,...
Though my mental illness is more likened to a big,...
Though my mental illness is more likened to a big,...
About This Quote

My mental illness is more likened to a big, nasty green monster than something heart-wrenchingly beautiful, but I think I have learned many wonderful lessons from my many afflictions. As my therapist says, "The worst thing in the world is not being able to see that you are sick." I have had several experiences with mental illness that have taught me that. My first experience with it was when I was about 6 years old. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at the age of 6.

I would try to hide it for a good 10 years before they gave me a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder. The thing is, I was so afraid of being sick that I would hide the fact that I had anxiety so well that most people didn’t even know it existed. That was until they gave me a prescription for Xanax, which is what turned my life around.

At first, it made me feel like everything was fine and dandy. After all, if there were no problems with my life why would I need to take any medication? Next thing you know, the medication started to affect me in serious ways. It affected my sleep patterns and even though taking it was supposed to make me feel better...it made me feel like hell.

For someone who has never taken any medication...to even talk about taking medication is weird enough but Xanax seems like an ordinary pill at first glance; however, its effects are far from ordinary. It affects your brain in some pretty strange ways and after extended periods of time on it your brain can develop some pretty strange habits. Not only did this medication affect my brain by making me feel worse than I had ever felt before, but it also made my mood swings act up badly too! It made me feel like everything around me was falling apart at times and that nothing could be done about it.

The up side to this? When someone finally figured out what was wrong with me and prescribed the right medication for me...I felt better than ever! This is how bad things can get when you ignore mental problems for far too long especially when there are so many others who are suffering right beside you without anyone knowing just how bad things can become until they happen to you.

Source: Trace The Grace: A Memoir

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